Last week when I was shopping for my last supplies and ingredients for my Thanksgiving dinner, I was feeling very blessed as it was a great day for me as my Bipolar symptoms were very minimal that day and that many people had recently blessed me with some monetary gifts enabling me to buy everything I needed and more to have a wonderful Thanksgiving day and dinner with all of my children. I felt so blessed just being able to spend the Thanksgiving Holiday with all of my children.

As I was merrily marching my full cart through the store and approaching the check out lanes I peered in an aisle on my left hand side and saw a mother with her two young children, a little girl and a little boy. I noticed that the little boy was bald. As I looked closer, I realized he had little tufts of hair left in a few spots on his head which could only mean one thing with the way his little head looked. It meant that he had some sort of childhood cancer and was in the middle of going through the horrific and painful process of chemotherapy treatments.

As I passed them my heart sunk, broke and bled for him. I grieved for this adorable little boy and his family mourning for their possible loss and pain and sadness they must be feeling even at this very moment at Target. As hard as you can try to distract yourself from this pain and grief it can never be fully removed from your heart and mind.

The mother was trying to be as brave as she could while shopping with her children for the upcoming Holiday trying to make things be and seem as normal as possible, even though they would or could never be normal again. Their “normal” identity has been and needs to be redefined.

As I passed the aisle my sorrow and love for them was great. When I think about this I believe most people could just pass the little family and maybe feel bad or sad for them for a very brief moment of time. But not me, my thoughts of sadness and empathy for them were strongly pouring out of my heart and soul. I feel it. I mourn it. I empathize and begin to love them all deeply. I do not know why I feel this way  as I do not even know them.

I steer my loaded cart into my check out lane  and begin to pray for them for strength, courage, comfort, peace and healing. For some reason, I feel some peace knowing that soon this little boy will be in in the Kingdom of heaven and meet our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I pray for him to make it though the Christmas Holiday and to be well and happy through the Holidays. I pray that the family will all have a lot of joy and peace throughout the upcoming Holidays

My eyes are closed tightly as I pray at Target right in the middle of my check out aisle with many people surrounding me. I do not care about that. I just need to pray and feel this huge strong urge and push to do this. I must do it now and where I am waiting for my turn in line. As I am closing my eyes and praying for this family and standing in line at Target, tears well up in my eyes. I feel so much deep rooted love and compassion for all of them.

Soon I see the mom, the sister and the darling loving little boy ,who is about 4 years old and seems to be very strong and courageous and maybe feeling well on this day. I cannot do anything but think about him and love him and pray deeper and more for him. This is not a conscious decision to pray, I just am without any of my seeming own thoughts. The words of prayer just come to me.I am praying. I must do this.

Then it is my turn in line, so I start putting my items on the checkout counter. My cashier has started ringing up my items but right during the middle of this process I tell her that I will be right back and I have to do something. There are people waiting in line behind me, but still I have to leave my check out process right in the middle of it.

I don’t have a lot of money left but it doesn’t matter and I feel and know I have been so blessed and I feel like I am so much more blessed seemingly than this little boy. I grab the little bit of cash I have in my wallet which is only ten dollars and fold it up and place it in the fist of my right hand.

Without any thought or hesitation, I walk over towards the beautiful little boy as if there is a hand on my back pushing me towards him. When I reach out my hand with the money in it to give it to him I tell him that Santa Claus told me to give him this money and that he should buy himself something very special. Then I say it again, but this time I tell him that actually Santa Claus and God told me to give this money to him.

The mom seems fine with me doing this. I tell the mom that God told me to pray for her and that I have been praying for them all ready. Then I asked her if I could pray for her again and she said I could. She seemed very comfortable with it and I laid my hand on her shoulder and prayed out loud to her in the middle of the Target store check out lines. I told her I would continue to pray for them. She said ,”Thank you.”

Calmly and peacefully I walked back to my check out lane where I had left my cart and opened purse. The cashier had taken all of my items out of my cart and totaled up the price or my total purchases. I paid her and left Target pushing my cart full of bags.

As I was getting into my car, I saw the mom, little sister and the little boy I had fallen in love with and I continued to pray for all of them. My heart aches deeply for them knowing the pain and sadness and heartache they are facing in their lives. I continue to feel empathy and compassion for this beautiful family and I continue to pray for this little boy and his family. They have touched my heart forever.

Isaiah 41:10

fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed; for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I  will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

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Please read my previous post Titled “The Holy Spirit and the Gifts of Prophesy”

Here is the Link to it…..

https://myloudbipolarwhispers.com/2016/11/27/the-holy-spirit-and-the-gift-of-prophecy/