Today I woke up in the morning with my mind racing. My thoughts rapidly mixing together like scrambled eggs for my morning breakfast.
Wow! Please slow down my racing, scrambled up thoughts inside my bipolar brain. I am exhausted and do not like the feeling of my brain traveling so quickly from one story and thought to the next. It is exhausting. My brain is tired and needs some rest from the rapid race pace inside my mind.
Welcome to my life inside my bipolar brain and world.
I never know what to expect in the morning.
Surprise! This morning I am experiencing extreme rapid thoughts, with mixed episodes, feeling manic and depressed and somewhat confused all intertwined together at the same time.
So far this is a lukewarm day. I feel lukewarm in the bipolar spectrum of mood temperatures.
Lukewarm is not too bad and it is definitely better than…
hot because hot would be my very bad full-blown mania and…
cold is better than lukewarm too because cold would be my severe suicidal depression.
Today my lukewarm bipolar mood is higher than warm because of my mixed episode of extreme racing thoughts combined with the coolness of some depression as well.
Warm is the ideal temperature right in the middle of the bipolar spectrum of mood temperatures and is the ultimate goal in my bipolar mind and mood poles.
I never reach the warm mood as I am usually hypomanic and usually always have mixed episodes and rapid cycling or some type of depression.
Someday my bipolar mind will be warm, but for now I am very happy and accept my bipolar disorder the way it is.
I have not been reaching extreme negative temperatures of too hot or too cold and that is a huge blessing.
I will make it through the day and I will survive my bipolar symptoms.
I will make it a good day as I have learned how to live well and love often despite my bipolar symptoms.
I am learning to embrace my bipolar disorder by accepting it, loving parts of my bipolar disorder and learning how to love myself.
Of course all of the good in my life and my many blessings come from God saving my life, comforting me, always being with me and loving me.