My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me… (Daily Word Prompt is Precipice)

My brain was trying to kill me, but God said no.

God continues to tell me over and over again, “I will tell you when it is your time to die. I will tell you when it is time for you to leave earth. It is my decision to  make. It is not yours.

You need to keep your ears open to hear me,

and keep your eyes open to see me.

God saved my life again. God said no and he nudged me away. He pushed my hand full of pills down away from my mouth and made me put my handful of pills back in the medicine bottles. I obeyed him as he guided me through every step of the process.

I sat back on my bed that was

no longer my deathbed,

but had turned back into

my life bed,

my bed of life.

I needed to begin living again.

God made me start taking deep breaths of the love of life,

breathing deep lovely air back into my lungs,

so I could begin living and loving my life once again.

I have scaled the deep precipice of bipolar disorder,

with my Lord and Savior always by my side

pulling me back up from death and despair,

to safety at the top of my beautiful summit of life,

where I am happy and blessed to be alive.

“Look to the past to learn… and look to the future to succeed.”  ~ anonymous

Copyright © By Susan Walz and – All written content and personal artwork is © and Susan Walz. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner/artist is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to My Loud Bipolar Whispers and/or Susan Walz with appropriate and specific directions to the original content.



    • It is my brain. I have a disease in my brain. My mind would never ever choose to feel the way bipolar makes me feel. It is my brain. It is the disease inside my brain. It is the illness inside my brain. The illness is not in my mind the illness lives in my BRAIN!!!!!!! The illness is a disease I live with and would never mindfully choose it. Please do not write that to me again. Please.


    • Bipolar disorder is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks. It is not a mind disorder!!!!! A mind is not an organ. When they treat the disease they are not treating your mind. It is a real illness that is not all in my mind…. you are speaking as stigma speaks. You sparked the hurtful words of stigma. I ignored it the first time but the second time I cannot. I would never say dementia is in your wifes mind… it is in her brain just like mental illness is in my brain. They have done tests and it shows imagery of when someone is depressed and suicidal and the chemical changes inside the brain… please research and keep that opinion to yourself or talk to someone else about that but please not me.


  1. Hi, magic piece of writing. Thank God, you have so much faith and trust in him. The temptation of overdosing and self harm that comes with Bipolar is tragic and thankfully both you and I are here to still be able to tell the tale.
    We are victims of this cruel disorder and faith, strength and courage helps us deal with the daily struggle of manic and depressive moods.
    Thanks for your blog.
    Cheers Mo X

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are very welcome. Thank you so much for reading my posts and for your always amazingly kind comments. I always greatly appreciate your kindness. We are bipolar survivors. We are mental illness survivors. We should always be very proud of ourselves for who we are and for surviving and realize how strong and couragous we are. I praise God becasue I know He has saved my life numerous times. Love, hugs and blessings to you always and forevere. Have a fabulous, healthy and happy day. Love always, Sue

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your kind comments. I greatly appreciate them. I pray my writing helps others in some way. That is my goal and it is my passion to help others in any way that I can. I praise God always becasue I know He has saved my life numerous times. Love and hugs to you, Sue


    • Thank you very much for you kind comments. I am very happy you enjoyed my post and it makes me happy that it has helped ou in some way. I just know that God saved my life forever and aways. I praise God for my life. He is the reason I am still alive. I would not be here if it wasn’t for Him. Hugs and blessings. Sue

      Liked by 1 person

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