I express my emotions and every feeling, even when they are not appealing.
My expressions are me, who I have come to be, for the world to see.
Praying I can teach, help inspire and reach
others who struggle with their own dark,
showing them there is hope for their spark
to ignite their spirit, love and light
to shine out beautifully and bright.
I expose my thoughts of what it is like living inside a bipolar brain,
when it feels like my life, mind and everything went down the drain,
ripping my happiness, love, spirit, ability to move, desire to live right out of my soul,
void of feeling joy and love, creating a feeling of emptiness, nothingness, a huge hole,
in my heart, setting me apart
from the rest of society.
I need my God, the deity,
to save my life and answer my prayers.
He will and can do it, God loves me and cares.
He will fix my mind, body, heart, soul and spirit.
I have faith and hope. There is no reason to fear it.
We must believe,
we can reprieve,
to live and breathe.
I am alive
and I will strive.
to always live,
love and give.
Of myself, I share,
so you will care,
all of you.
You can fight, beat and overcome
every bipolar symptom,
every deep dark depression,
every suicidal thought,
every voice you hear,
every image that is not real.
You can fight it.
You can win.
you can overcome.
If you have suicidal thoughts, yell at them. Tell them to go away and leave you alone.
Your suicidal thoughts will eventually pass.
If the terrible thoughts stay, don’t listen to what they say.
Learn to ignore them. Soon they will get bored and will go away.
If your suicidal thoughts come back again, you know you beat them before and you can beat them again,
knowing they will never stay forever and your life will get better.
Wait for those suicidal thoughts to get out of your mind, as hard as it is, they will eventually go away.
Don’t listen to the suicidal thoughts.
They are ugly lies and do not tell the truth.
You are good. You are important. You matter. You are valuable and you are needed.
Life is good.
Have faith and believe it will get better.
I am living proof. I am a numerous suicide attempt survivor and I survive suicidal thoughts almost every day.
I have decided I will not give in to those thoughts. I will not listen to them. I will be stronger than those voices in my head. I will not obey their words or orders.
I will find many more beautiful and honest words to hear, listen to, remember and plant inside my mind.
I believe I can survive and I will survive, thrive and I will live.
I’m alive and…
Thank you, God.
After my two posts yesterday I would like to take the time to…
thank everyone for giving and showing me so much outpouring love, compassion, concern and care for me. Thank you for being so kind and saying so many loving and heartfelt words (or writing them rather, hahaha…).
I have bipolar 1 disorder with rapid cycling and mixed episodes and PTSD and more. My mood poles can switch extremely rapidly to sometimes dangerous places for no reason, out of the blue. Scary, but I am getting much better at fighting this on my own without having to be hospitalized or hurting myself in any way, like I used to many years ago, many times.
Sometimes I write exactly as I am feeling openly and honestly at that moment in time. Sometimes my words are very dark, but that is how I am feeling and what my mind is telling me at that time. I feel it and so I write it. I pray it educates others and helps people to know and realize they are not alone. Also, it is very therapeutic for me to write.
My rapid cycling also sometimes can cause my mood poles to switch quickly, so I sometimes will feel better soon, even within the same day or the next day like today.
I feel much better than yesterday and it helped me to hear such positive and uplifting and loving kind comments from people like you. You are all blessed and I thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul for your many kind and encouraging and loving words. They mean more to me than you will ever comprehend. Your words and thoughtfulness touched my heart and soul and helped me with my recovery, again. Thank you again and again.
Have a fabulous, happy and healthy day.
May your lives overflow with many blessings.
Love and hugs, Sue
I love you all and I love this blogging community. It is awesome with a great group of people.
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